He Must Increase
Weak and tired, but mostly frustrated.
If I’m being honest, those are the words I would use to describe the way I have felt over the past several weeks.
Trying to control
Our home has been hit hard with the flu, passing from kid to kid and eventually landing on me as it’s final target.
For eight days, I laid in my bed, stricken with incredibly high fever and deep body aches.
The fever is gone now, but I have yet to find my energy and remain under constant coughing attacks, despite my LONG list of things I need to be doing.
Surely you don’t want me to
feel this way, right God?
After all, I’ve got a lot of things
to do for YOU and for my family.
My prayer has been entitled to wanting God to work in the way I think He should be working. As best I can manage, I have tried to control and manipulate God into doing things my way.
Lord, look at me! I’m trying
to do things right, despite
everything going on.
Why are you being silent?
Why are you not helping?
The trouble is that the more I have tried to control, the more anxious, frustrated and worked up I have become.
Getting in His way
For these last several weeks, God has been patiently layering the theme of John 3:30.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.”
My fleshly nature wants so badly to think this life is about me and what I can DO, so I scratch and pull for control as best I know how.
In all of my trying to help God along, I’ve mostly just been getting in His way.
The truth is that God is in complete control, always has been and always will be. And there is tremendous freedom in that. We were never meant to carry that heavy weight of trying to control.
Realigning my heart
So, today, I’m praying for you and for me - that we would willingly relinquish our attempts at control to experience the true freedom that He offers with His increase.
Lord, help us to trust both your plan and your timing,
to get out of your way, and to hold loosely
the things that have been entrusted to us.
In your grace and tender love, teach us to rest
in becoming less so that you can become greater in our lives.
Amen.
