Our Logic-Shattering Jesus
“It’s not enough. How can it possibly be enough?”
The words are rummaging through every crevice of my brain as I sit here at my computer typing this to you.
There are not enough resources, not enough finances, not enough time, not enough energy and physical strength, not enough wisdom to know how to proceed, not enough mental capacity to sort through the emotions, not enough __________ (I’m sure you can fill in the blank).
Our short-sighted perspective
I admit that I think logically about most things, though I’ve always wished I didn’t naturally lean towards this “realist” mentality.
But lately, God has been challenging my short-sighted thinking with the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 (which most scholars believe was closer to 15,000 because women and children were present but not accounted for in the number).
The historical story is often told from the perspective of the young boy who trusted God with the little he had, but today I want to highlight the disciples’ perspective.
Jesus and His disciples had been with the large crowd all day, healing the sick and teaching them the good news.
They were tired and worn down, and the disciples approached Jesus with the hard facts.
Matthew 14:15 says,
“Now when it was the evening, the disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a desolate place and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.’”
When logical thinking becomes limited thinking 5 loaves. 2 fish. 15,000 people.
Their perspective is not wrong, it’s just limited.
I probably would have said the same thing as the disciples, but mine might have sounded a bit more…selfish.
“We’ve done enough for these people, and we definitely don’t have enough resources to take care of our needs and their needs, so let’s send them on their way.”
But Jesus.
“But Jesus said, ‘They need not go away, you give them something to eat.’ They said to Him, ‘We have only five loaves here and two fish.’ And He said, ‘Bring them here to me.’”
5 loaves. 2 fish. 15,000 people.
Seriously, it’s not enough.
The disciples had a choice to make in that moment:
Sit on the sidelines with logical pessimism, natural doubt and maybe even a little bit of frustration with Jesus for not writing the story that made sense
or …
humbly trust that He had a more beautiful plan that is beyond their logical understanding.
Despite whatever emotions and doubt they were feeling, we know they chose to be obedient to what Jesus asked them to do.
And because of that obedience, that leaning in, they learned more about their logic-shattering, miracle-working, abundantly-resourced Jesus in real time with their real hands.
Yes, Jesus worked a powerful miracle by feeding the masses with 5 rolls and 2 sardine-like fish, but beyond that, He worked a miracle in their hearts through it.
Isn’t that beautiful?
No matter what “not enough” you keep running into, He welcomes you to bring all of your emotions, doubts and thoughts (realistic or not) to Him.
He wants to show you more of Himself through all of it.
So I’m praying with you…
Lord, we admit that we often have a “not enough” mindset.
We can be so limited to our natural, logical perspective.
We need your help to humbly trust you when we don’t understand
what you’re doing in our lives. Help us to lean in when we are
struggling because you are always worthy of our trust.
Amen
